We all sighed and smiled. It was the feeling of being understood, of not having to explain every detail, of not having to justify your thoughts and your response. Looking at the squares on the screen, we all just paused and had a moment of connection.

This was what I felt in many of our PastoraLab meetings for the years I participated in the NE/SE Cohort. It was not the content of the questions that made me come back, but the people with similar backgrounds and experiences.

We could trade out names and stories, but the themes were the same: dismissal, prejudice, and struggle. 

It was a particular time in my life where I needed to see the faces of other Asian American women who knew what it was like to be excluded from circles of highest decision making, to be ignored and silenced, and to quietly struggle each day.

Some of the women were ahead of me and had already blazed a trail for themselves, and others were still confused and lost. 

Honor leadership identity

One of the greatest values of PastoraLab meetings for me was seeing Asian women as leaders in their element, whether it be in their responses, the sharing of their experiences, or seeing them lead our group.

Accelerate liberating justice

Many in our group were involved in solidarity with other people of color and embraced liberation for all. As I reflect on the future for PastoraLab, however, I affirm the vision of incorporating other aspects of H.E.A.R.D. as well.

Educate toward flourishing

For me, how does educating others on what I do from my particular viewpoint benefit other Asian women? An open mind to concerns that are not one’s own is an embracing of empathy that is so needed for good leaders.

To be the same as what traditional leadership is, is to live for one’s own self. Though we uplift the voices of Asian women, we only truly lead by giving space for others as well.

Reconstruct narratives

I wish I could say we have lost the model minority narrative in our midst, but I fear we have not. This is where having a platform outside of our own echo chambers matters. Recognizing ongoing immigration which affirms these old narratives has to be admitted as well.

We cannot move forward until we bring everyone in our quite large grouping of Asian women along. A recognition of ingrained patriarchy of our culture needs reasonable reckoning.

Develop and curate community stories

I would love to say that my stories matter to others, but I’m not sure they do. I feel that we are looking for something in particular, in order to say they matter.

What would it be like to accept stories and ideas that do not fit our theology, our agenda, or our logical categories? Again, to be like everyone else in how we think, what we value, who we look at, is just to be like the masses but in a different context.

Empathy from emptiness can only be found in Jesus.

I believe that out of the loving Holy Spirit we can give abundantly even if we are ignored, silenced, unseen.

In fact, we can be filled to the brim with God’s peace and love through Jesus.

To have real vision is to see beyond what is lacking, and to recognize our humanity, having confidence in the ONE who will never leave us in insignificance, so long as we recognize who is the ONE who is the GOOD God over all. 

Written by Emily Isbell, PastoraLab Graduate 2024